Edition #3

Author

Austin Hopkins
February 05, 2024

A few weeks back, I was chatting with a client of my career coaching business.

She was contemplating a potential move to a new state. She grew up in her home state on the East Coast, and all her family still lived locally.

Here is the catch: her family didn't want her to move; they wanted her to stay close.

But she was feeling a calling to make a change. She wanted the chance to make new memories, get out of her comfort zone, and create a fulfilling life in a new place.

Unfortunately, she was caught between a rock and a hard place. Part of her wanted to please her family and stay close. But the other part of her wanted to do what she felt inspired to do.

I don't know if you have ever been in a similar place where you feel the need to please the people around you. It is not a fun experience to deal with.

Throughout my life, I have dealt with people pleasing more times than I can remember. Whether it was pursuing a degree because I knew my parents wanted me to get one or trying to be something I wasn't to please my boss at work.

Each time I chose to please someone versus doing what my heart told me, I regretted it. Even If I did make the other person happy, I always felt regret later.

As I got into my late 20s/early 30s, I started to change my habit of people-pleasing slowly. It stemmed from caring less about what people thought of me.

Sometimes, that meant "letting down" my family, friends, coworkers, etc.

But trust me when I say that occasionally choosing your own path wont ruin you. You will face less regret and more confidence in your decision-making, and those around you will have more respect for you in the long run.

If, for some reason, your friends/family don't support your decisions, it may be time to reevaluate if they should be in your life. After all, we should only have people in our life that want the best for us, not the best for them.

You may be in a similar situation as my client. You are facing a decision to please someone or the decision to follow your gut. My advice is to listen to your heart.

If you make all your decisions for others, let them live your life.

Instead, make your own decisions, embrace the fact you can't please everyone, and watch as your confidence grows.

Podcast Episode Breakdown

Episode 25: Work/Life Balance

Last month, I discussed finding that elusive balance between work and life.

This was a fun episode to record because it allowed me to reflect on my journey with work and time off.

I have always been the "work to live" vs the "live to work" type. I really enjoy my relaxation and downtime.

As I began my career, I watched many people around me prioritize working long hours. Many of my close friends and coworkers would often brag about working over 40 hours a week.

At the time, I thought I was weird for not wanting to work crazy hours. I tried the “always-grinding” mindset for a little bit. But it wasn't for me.

Anytime I worked more hours than needed, I felt drained and noticed nothing got better for me at work. In fact, my overall performance suffered.

Eventually, I came to the simple realization that what matters is quality, not quantity. This meant I wouldn't need to work long hours if I could produce high-value outputs.

I kept this revelation to myself for a while because I was worried about what my boss or coworkers might think. After all, many were very proud of their 50+ hour work weeks.

Over time, I started to lean into my work/life balance theory. When I did, I noticed my friends/coworkers began to look at me differently. My employees didn't feel pressure to make work their entire lives, and finally, I found that lots of folks resonated with my approach to work/life balance.

If you want to find a better balance between work and life, ask yourself this question.

Am I working more hours for appearances or because I actually need to work more hours to get my tasks done?

If you are working for appearance's sake, stop.

Don't let your work define your whole life. You have more to experience and give outside of your career.

Be efficient, be effective, and be balanced.

Book Club

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

I don't care about getting power. I never have and never will.

I came across Robert Greene's content on YouTube a few years ago. He is a 6x best-selling author who writes about human nature and psychology.

I instantly fell in love with his simple way of breaking down how and why humans do the things they do.

I kept hearing about his controversial book called The 48 Laws of Power. Believe it or not, the book is the 2nd most banned book in prison.

In the book, Robert breaks down a comprehensive list of the ways to gain, hold onto, and use power to your advantage.

So why did I choose to read a book about a subject I don't care about?

The simple answer is that the world is full of people who crave power. So, I wanted to learn how to spot power dynamics, and I also wanted to learn how to tap into the psychology of power to create a greater level of positive influence.

The book was absolutely fantastic! It did a great job of breaking down power concepts while giving abundant examples from history. I want to share my top ten favorite laws and my thoughts on each.

Austin's Top Ten Laws of Power

  1. Never Outshine The Master: I made this mistake recently and paid dearly. Don't be like me and outshine your boss.

  2. Always Say Less Than Necessary: People like folks who are mysterious. Leave things unsaid and draw them in.

  3. Win Through your Action, Never Through Arguments: Actions convince better than words. Be about it; don't talk about it.

  4. Use Absence To Increase Respect and Honor: Being too available dilutes your value. Don't be afraid to create distance.

  5. Re-Create Yourself: The ability to create a new and fresh version of yourself will suck people in.

  6. Enter Action With Boldness: Fortune favors the bold. Fortune despises indecision and insecurity.

  7. Make Your Accomplishments Seem Effortless: No one wants to see how the sausage is made. Do it quietly, and then let the results speak for themselves.

  8. Master the Art of Timing: Sometimes, the right action at the wrong time can spell disaster. Use timing to your advantage to strike when the irons are hot.

  9. Despise the Free Lunch: Anything that seems too good to be true always is. Trust your gut.

  10. Be Royal in Your Own Fashion: Act Like A King to Be Treated Like One: People treat you the way you allow them to. Have self-respect, and those around you will give you the same.

I enjoyed this book so much that I plan to do a whole podcast episode dedicated to using the laws of power to help you navigate your career. Stay tuned!

Next Month’s Book: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Download the audiobook or grab a physical copy of this classic book. Get ready to learn about how to get others to do what you want or need.

Music

Spotify Playlist

Have you ever found a playlist that perfectly fits your vibe?

Years ago, my good friend/business partner and I were hanging out during a wedding weekend. Our close friend was getting married, and we rented a huge house on a beautiful lake in Washington State.

We spent the days jumping in the lake and playing games. We spent the nights chatting about life and sipping on cocktails.

It's getting late one night, and the evening is winding down. Kyle looks over to me and asks if I have heard of the playlist on Spotify called All The Feels.

I looked at him bewildered and said no.

He turns on the playlist, and instantly, the vibe changes.

The first song hits me like a ton of bricks. The first track is Chicago Freestyle by Drake and Giveon. This track is one of my all-time favorite Drake songs, and Giveon takes it over the top. He has one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard.

Each song is cut, one after another. I keep waiting for a song that I won't like. But it doesn't come. Seriously, all 60 songs fit the mood perfectly.

At one point, I turned to Kyle and said, "I think I just found my new playlist. The one I can listen to anytime, anywhere with anyone, and it still works."

To this day, I still listen to All The Feels multiple times a week.

If you have Spotify, find the All The Feels playlist and prepare to be impressed. If you don't have Spotify, it may be time to pull the trigger and download the hands-down best music streaming platform.

Do you have a playlist that perfectly fits your vibe?

Coffee

Did you know adding 🧂 salt to your coffee can make it taste better?

Anyone who spends time around me knows that I swear by this trick. Years ago, I heard about this weird combo on one of James Hoffman's YouTube videos. In 2007, James won the World Barista Champion and has been putting out incredible coffee content since.

Back to the salt mines, as they say.

A lot of the coffee we drink today is quite bitter. Whether you are grabbing some caffeine from Starbucks or your local coffee shop, chances are you have had a bitter cup at some point.

But we don't have to settle for bitter coffee!

Adding a pinch 🤏 of salt to your cup of coffee will reduce bitterness drastically. I know it sounds weird, but try it and tell me your coffee doesn't taste better.

As you might know, when cooking, adding salt helps highlight the other tastes/flavors instead of bitterness. It's the same with coffee. Sodium ions bind with the receptors on our tongue, preventing the taste of bitterness.

With a bit of salt, your coffee is slightly sweeter and more balanced.

Remember that too much salt can ruin your cup of coffee, so test it out and start with a small amount.

Next time you're at dinner with friends, grab the salt shaker and put a little dash in that coffee you are sipping. Wait for your friends to look at you like you are a crazy person, but you won't care cause you will be consuming a well-balanced cup of joe. 👌👌👌

STS Career Coaching

Do you want to make more money? Stand out amongst your peers? Get promoted faster? Or use your unique strengths to navigate your career?

Book a free career clarity call https://calendly.com/stscareercoaching/30min

or visit

Stay Connected